OKORITE'S
THOUGHTS
About 7
years ago,I did an article in the Empower magazine of the International
Federation of Women Lawyers with this title;thereafter, I have also done a
couple of others with same title. The thing is,they are all distinct writings
save for the title and author. This is also different I assure you.
Most men
always want virgins as wives,including those who pursue everything in
skirt;they want good girls. Some get the good girls and are still messing
around believing she is a good girl and will wait for him. She is human and
guys are desperately looking for intelligent,industrious and beautiful women even
with kids. A word is enough for anybody really not just the wise.
Have you met
people who live in denial and manipulate others into believing same? Somebody
who lies even when there is no need will be announcing how they are truthful
people. When you seek to inform us of your piety and truthfulness
needlessly,you make us curious.
Have you
been interrogated by toddlers lately? Sex education no longer starts at 13 years,we
must start at 9 years latest. Kids now have many "teachers" and have
access to all kinds of information so,if you do not give age-appropriate timely,correct
information,television,song,street,adverts,movies,friends etc will beat you to
it with false and dangerous information.
During courtship,people
generally put their best foot forward. So,when you are in a relationship and
the person ask for loan to do a business then,he or she does not pay back,it's
a red flag! When he threatens with a clenched fist,then,don't be surprised when
you become a punching bag in the marriage.
If he calls
to know how many times you breathe,who you greet,who compliments you etc. Be
careful! When he is with you,he answers your calls,reads your messages or would
ask you to put it on speaker. Are you sure you want to marry him?
As a
Speaker, Facilitator, Counselor and Mentor,I get questions like "What
should I look for in a partner?" My answer is often like "What do you
want in life?" For most people they do not have an answer so,here are a
few basics for me before I talk about the container (height,weight,chest,statistics
etc)
1. What are
his or her core values
2. What is
a deal(marriage) breaker for him or her? Please answer for yourself and also
ask the person,do not assume.
3. Is the
person willing to learn?
4. Do I
have to compromise or become an entirely different person?
5. Do we
have similar goals and objectives in life or does he or she believe in my
dreams and aspirations?
As Africans
and Nigerians we used to wonder about the divorce rate in other climes,now,it
is happening to us and I believe the reasons include:
1. Searching
for and falling in love with 'the life of the party' only to look for fatherhood
or motherhood;value parents in the marriage.
2. Not
knowing what we want prior to getting married
3. False
expectations including the belief that a grown adult will change over night
4. Looking
for 100% forgetting we are not 100% and really,how many people are?
Given how
chaotic our lives have become with so many things calling our attention,I
choose to stop so,you don't sleep on me while we are discussing.
Thank you
for your time.
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